This is probably the most difficult blog we have ever written. It pains me and Trevor deep in our hearts to have to type these words. And i completely understand how hard this realization is going to be, for all of the faithful Christians worldwide who are reading these typed words.
But our years of research and new discoveries have led us to one conclusion. And it isn’t an easy one to swallow.
Let us start with our research and go from there.
As most of you die-hard Rapture Right fans know, Trevor and myself hold the shared world record for the most times reading the Bible in a 24 hour period. 13 was the previous record, held by Lance Sterling of Quebec Canada, until we smashed it to shreds and bits, when we each read completely the New testament, 26 times in one sitting.
On my 17th time reading the Bible, during that competition, i started to notice something odd. Firstly there is a huge chunk of Jesus’ life that is missing from the Bible. Almost 18 years of his life we know nothing about. What was he doing during this missing 18 years? Why didn’t anyone ever write about this and more importantly why didn’t Jesus himself tell us where he had been?
Then it started to become clear, although the clarity was brief and was soon replaced by a dark cloud of shame.
Jesus never had a girlfriend nor was he ever married. The speculation as to his marriage to Mary Magdalene is just that, speculation. And here is a guy who was incredibly popular, he was like a rock star of his time. He should have had women all around him, willing to do anything to get a piece of the Lord. And although he was only half human, his human half would have had human urges. One of those would have been to mate.
Then we have these more disturbing facts.
Jesus spent the majority of his time around men. Deep in the desert, hot and filthy living like a rock star, surrounded by men in dresses. We all know what happens to men when they are forced to spend long periods of time with other men. In fact a new report on homosexuality in organized sports says that over 56 percent of men who spend 4 hours or more a week playing sports with other men, have a 89 percent higher chance of engaging in homo-erotic relations, with those same men.
Jesus would have had a HUGE amount of gay pressure on him. Couple this with the fact that he didn’t want to talk about his past (the missing 18 years) and that he had no girlfriend or wife, and we can come to only one conclusion.
Jesus was in fact a homo-gay.
Ok, lets take a break. I know and Trevor knows, just how you are feeling right now. We had this same feeling when we put all the facts together. Jesus never talked about gays, he never said it was wrong. He never stood up on hill anywhere and shouted “thou shalt not lay with another man, if you are indeed a man as well, nor should you lay with a woman if you are also a woman, unless your husband demands it and then you shall obey his request”.
In fact what he probably shouted from the hill was “Come all thy followers of me, bow down before me and let me sing for you and let me braid your curly locks of man hair, for i am your man of men, king of kings!”. I am paraphrasing of course.
We Christians do NOT have to accept homo-gays and their wicked lifestyles. It is written in the Old testament that gays are bad and we don’t have to like em. And although the New Testament completely cancels out the Old Testament, we here at The Rapture Right Ministries say “NO, we shall not let this logic poison our well of faith, we shall love Jesus but we shall not approve of his lifestyle choice”.
We also strongly suggest that everyone paint clothes on your Jesus’ if you have a picture of him on the cross anywhere in your house. Kneeling down in front of a half naked gay man and praying for him to “touch you”, will be even more difficult than accepting that…… Jesus was gay.